Dear Jim:

My buddy and I hope you can mediate a dispute. He says that the perfect woman is three-foot high, wears roller skates and has a flat head so that you can rest your beer atop her head and walk around while she gives you head. I say that a flat head ruins the whole experience, being that if you rested a beer on her bobbing head, it would spill all over the floor. What do you think?

Signed,

A male going straight to hell

Dear A-male-going-straight-to-hell:

Listen, I would love to help you guys, but most of my readers are women, none of whom have flat heads (at least none that I know of), and if I lose them, there goes The Jim Galaxy. All I can tell you is to try the following experiment: One of you boys should tie roller skates to your knees, put on a graduation cap and then blow the other one, while that guy rests an open beer on the graduation cap. If it spills, then you are right; if not, then your buddy is right – and whoever ends up on his knees had better hope he does not enjoy the experience.

Signed,

Jim Galaxy

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 15th, 2009 at 3:02 am and is filed under Advice. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.